I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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