we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
