we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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