Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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