Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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