dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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