Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
