i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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