wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
