Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Swine flu. Run for my life!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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