It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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