i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
