She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
