all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
