My hair reeks of homosexuality.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
