His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
