Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
