So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
