we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
