worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
