The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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