I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
