Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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