No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
