There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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