I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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