I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
