I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
