it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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