Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
