I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
