Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?