I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
