Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
