Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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