pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Are we in a gay sports bar?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
