I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
