tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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