so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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