Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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