I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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