You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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