On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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