Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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