I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
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I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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