It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
