Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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