Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.