He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
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Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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