this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.