Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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