tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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