I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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