Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
