watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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