Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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