I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
